This poor neglected blog

Last fall I lost internet service for a few months, and then I had to suspend Weight Watchers for a while. After that, well, my life hit some challenges, and I just haven't felt like blogging. During this interim, I didn't give up trying to lose weight or trying to figure out this complicated relationship I have with food, size and body image. As for the rest, life is still challenging, I don't really feel like blogging, but I know this has been a powerful tool for me, and writing about weight, diet, body image, beauty and exercise is easier than writing about the rest of my life now. When it comes to blogging, I'm definitely a personal blogger. However, I've been steeped in "the personal is the political" for most of my life, so make of that what you will.

It hit me the other day that I've been seriously involved in improving my health and eating habits for a little over four years now. During that time I've lost a little over 122 pounds. It took me two years to lose fifty pounds by just trying to live in a healthier way. The last two years (with a three month interval where I tried to work the program on my own but wasn't officially registered) I've been on Weight Watchers. I still have over 90 pounds to lose before I reach a recommended weight for a woman of my age and height. Whether I choose to reach that specific weight is still up in the air. I want to see what weight I'll be where I'm comfortable with both my health and appearance.

Fourteen weeks ago I rejoined Weight Watchers. In that time, I've lost 15.8 pounds. I'd lose a few pounds one week and gain a few the next. I've kept a graph tracking my weight loss. The weekly ups and downs drove me crazy. Then I changed it to show just my monthly results. The data is the same, but that line is much more visually appealing. It's a little thing but it helps me ride up the temporary gains and plateaus. I've learned that my favorite espadrilles weigh 1.6 pounds and my flip flops weigh .6 pounds. When I was weighing with and without shoes at home (because you have to wear shoes at meetings), I just had to laugh at myself. That's the kind of craziness I've tried to avoid in treating this as not a diet. Being able to recognize it and laugh at it was a victory for me.

I'm definitely back in the healthy foods realm of eating, lots of veggies and lots of water, and this feels good. So many people I know have gardens that I stayed stocked in tomatoes, zucchini, okra, squash and peppers. There really is nothing like food fresh from the soil. There's a world of difference in eating a strawberry grown four miles down the road and one shipped to Tennessee from California. I'm sorely tempted to plan a small garden for next year. Vegetable stands keep me in fresh peaches, melons and cantaloupes. Maybe it's having a vegetarian daughter, but I've come to love beans after hating them most of my life.

I'm also exercising more, walking regularly, doing some yoga and pilates and working with hand weights. I've given up my gym membership because I wasn't using it. I do miss the weight machines, but I was missing them while paying dues, and I can miss them with a little more money in my pocket. The other night, I walked for two miles. It may not sound like much, but it's a big improvement for me. Better mobility is one of the best benefits of weight loss for me. My knees and ankles don't grind with every step now.

This year, I've felt like I've been hit with a lot, and taking care of myself hasn't been easy, but it's been important, and I'm proud of what I've done.

diet, 100 pound weight loss, Weight Watchers