The weekly weigh in, week 43

I've tried posting this entry at least four times, but Blogger seems to have a gremlin that doesn't want to me to save, proof-read and edit my entries. So if this is a misspelled mess, I beg your forgiveness.

This last Thursday at my weekly WW meeting, I overshot my last Big Goal. I lost six pounds last week. I don't know why the loss was so big. I didn't do anything differently, but that's the way it goes sometimes. If I'm not going to let myself get upset over a little gain or just a tiny loss, then I can't celebrate over a big loss. However reaching my goal line is cause for celebration. Those six pounds brought my weight loss to 76.6 pounds! Oh, when I got up to receive my reward (a refrigerator magnet that says 'I Lost 75 pounds) my group started singing, "I'm too sexy..." and I danced my way to the front of the group.

This means that my next Big Goal is 100 pounds, and honestly, that doesn't seem completely possible yet. That would be like losing a whole person. So until it does seem possible, realistic and indeed probable, I'm going to focus once again on the daily goals of staying within my points allowance (which has now dropped another point), eating all my fruits and veggies, drinking my water, getting in my oil (which is the hardest part of the diet program for me), and exercising.

My other goal is getting a grip on emotional eating, specifically eating to ameliorate stress and anger. The other day, I ate a bag of rice cake snacks, simply because I was so mad I wanted to get really nasty with someone who, well, did deserve it, but doing so would have only made the situation worse. The anger had to go somewhere though, and I literally swallowed it. I still felt like garbage, and I wasted my bonus points on...rice cakes. C'mon, that could have been cheesecake or a steak, and instead, I ate rice cakes because I didn't know what to do with my anger. I could have lived well if I hadn't tried to run away from myself.

I've said many times, this diet is about getting healthy, and well, it looks like I'm going to have to find a healthy way to deal with my emotions as well as my food. Well, damn, my inner brat does not like that idea too much at all. I'm 47 years old, and it looks as if I'm to be healthy, I'm actually going to have to grow up. Double damn. There goes another illusion of youth, but the reality of a healthy life is better than the appeal of pouting and eating my way through pretending I'm actually a calm and nice person.

So, I've weighed in. I feel great. I know what my next Big Goal is, even if it feels tenuous now. I've got good habits in place, and I know some of the challenges I'm facing. I'd say this is a good launching pad for my way to 100 pounds.